Ron's funeral today. It was an interesting affair. I should start by saying I've never actually been to a funeral before. I have had family die, but my mother never let me go to the funerals. My mother wanted me in the car following the hearse with her, which was strange for me, but she really did need me there. She cried the majority of the time, saying things such as how she doesn't know what to do without him, and the like. Uhm, the ceremony was nice though. Made people smile, which is always a plus in situations like this. Was weird though, sitting there and thinking that in a few months, I'll be the one sat on the front row, for my dad.
I saw him, in his open coffin. Not many did - my sister Marae did (eldest sister didn't want to) and my mum, obviously. His two sons did too. As... selfish as this is going to sound, I didn't want the first dead person I saw to be my own Dad. It's strange. He looked like a waxwork. That's the only way I can describe it. But he looked better than at the hospice. At peace. For all the issues I had with him, it was still a sad moment to see him there. For how little we got along, I'd love for him to still be here, just for my mother.
Both my sisters cried a fair amount today, but again, I just didn't. I'll probably have my little explosion in a few days time. I can't cry. I even said when we were stood outside, and I was hugging my two sisters that I'd take care of them. That's just what I do.
Gotta go out soon up to the hospital with my dad. He has a scan, and we'll get the results next Thursday. Basically to find out if the chemo is working for him and what path, if any, to take next. So, we shall see how that one goes.
I think I'm feeling a little deflated now. I'm not sure, to be perfectly honest. To say it was a sad day, it was a very nice send off for him. - Mood:numb
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